Recovering a Sense of Balance in Retreat

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by Beverly Nelson, Ph.D.

In Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now, Maya Angelou says, "If we step away for a time, we are not, as many may think and some will accuse, being irresponsible, but rather we are preparing ourselves to more ably perform our duties and discharge our obligations."

Many others have written about the importance of retreat and solitude. But in our busy world today, to take a retreat to restore and rejuvenate seems unlikely, if not impossible.

Being busy is a given for many working people. And, we're probably not going to get any less busy. What we often fail to understand, however, is that we can be busy and still lead a balanced life. In recent years, busy people have often been labeled as unbalanced workaholics. This may be taking it a little too far. Yes, some busy people may be unbalanced and overwhelmed but, interestingly, other busy people may not be. What's the difference?

Perhaps the answer lies in the distinction between outer and inner balance. Outer balance varies with the demands of the day, and how best to maintain the many structures in our life we have worked so hard to put in place. But within each day, regardless of its mix of tasks and pleasures, we can maintain an inner balance. Inner balance can be described as having a sense of connection with yourself; of looking inside yourself to see what you think, feel, and need, then looking outside of yourself to see what others think, feel, and need, and then bringing the two together. Some describe it as being capable of living in the moment free from the tyranny of "shoulds."

There are many ways to reach a more comfortable inner balance. However, most of us need practice and guidance. This is the how and why of retreats. One very powerful way to begin to learn about inner balance is to take a formal retreat with a group facilitated by trained leaders. At LifePath, we offer guided retreats in a small-group setting. While on retreat, you can learn how to spend time with yourself and learn that retreating, or the going within cycle, is just as valuable as the accomplishing, out in the world cycle. You can also learn many techniques that you can take back home to integrate into your busy life to help you stay "connected."

But if you're not quite ready to do that, or you can't take the time now, arranging your own retreat at home might be the next best thing. Obviously, having a weekend or one day retreat at home will be easier if you're single or if your spouse and/or children are away for the weekend. Suggestions include:

• Arrange to start your time alone by dinner on Friday evening and continue it through Sunday evening. If this is impossible, arrange for one full day of retreat.
• Unplug the phone, and tell your family and friends that you won't be available.
• Plan not to watch TV or listen to your radio. Have uplifting music available. Put newspapers and magazines away and replace them with nourishing literature.
• Take your watch off so you are not concerned with time.
• Avoid alcohol, unhealthy food, or other substances that will lower your energy.
• Do whatever you need to do to your space to make it as pleasant as possible.
• Sit quietly, not thinking, just being with the moment.
• Spend your time in silent reflection.
• Do yoga, exercise, or gentle stretching.
• Practice deep breathing.
• Write, paint, or draw.
• Watch the sunrise and sunset.
• Spend time in nature.
• Go to bed early and awaken early.
• Prepare your favorite meals. Eat in silence without reading or watching TV.
• Think only positive thoughts and refrain from worry or negative thinking.

If you don't have time for a full day or weekend retreat, there are many other options for achieving inner balance. Examples include:

• a lunch hour retreat
• a half-day creative retreat
• a one hour "getting clarity" retreat
• a one-day retreat with a friend
• a two-minute retreat.

By taking time to retreat, time seems to expand, and we can approach our tasks with a more peaceful heart, open mind, and relaxed attitude. The gift of inner balance that this brings helps us to appreciate our busy lives on a moment-by-moment basis and opens us to the intuitive, creative wisdom within.